Melting pot people walking on zebra crossing and traffic jam on 7th avenue in Manhattan before sunset – Crowded streets of New York City during rush hour in urban business area

We have evolved to a level where we have become more psychological than physiological existence. Our well-being and efficiency heavily depends on our ‘Being’ (state) and not so much on ‘Doing’ (action). If we are balanced and joyful, we act very differently from when we are disturbed and agitated mentally, in two quite similar trigger situations. While all of our society/culture recommend us to guard our actions, not much value is given to guarding our ‘state’ or ‘being’. Although the latter plays a primary role in shaping our day to day well-being and realisation of the ‘Human Potential’ that we all possess.

What is the root cause of this problem? Why aren’t we able to see our best action choices on regular basis? What blocks us from seeing them? If we are not able to see the ‘Truth of the moment’(the reality, things as they are), what is the basis of our action?
If we look at our behaviours closely, we will find that we are acting from our story (belief) about the moment and situation. This preference or bias blocks us from seeing and responding to the the truth, the reality. Naturally, these actions (based on our story, belief from the past or image formed about the future) are not going to be the most appropriate to the situation, as we fail to see things on their merit under the influence of our own distorted perceptions/beliefs/ideas/ notions about the situation. Unfortunately, most of us are living like this almost all the time, at work, in relationships, and in our dealing with ourselves. This issue is so common and prevalent that we don’t even find it odd or wrong.

Now, if most of the time, our observation of situation and hence actions are misfits, our life becomes a sum total of the mess created from these faulty choices/actions, invariably causing us, a sense of loss, guilt, irritation, anger, mental pain, and often physical diseases too. Not only this, we also suffer because of the faulty orientations and harmless looking inhuman values inculcated into us via social and cultural conditioning. Concepts like, ‘life is a war’, ‘more is always better’, and ‘you have to compete and beat others to survive’ etc. These ideas, if taken seriously become our values which define the meaning and purpose of life, leaving us  with a distorted sense of self and the goal of human existence. Consequently, we end up behaving in an unnatural manned and start chasing the goals that are not ours. Such goals, even if chased successfully, by investing precious energy and time, soon leave us with a feeling of unfulfillment and dissatisfaction, much like a dog who excitedly chases a plastic bone, only to realise the futility of the effort in the end.

Where lies the problem then? Why aren’t we able to see the best choices available to us?. What blocks us from seeing them? If we are not living the ‘Truth of the moment’, what are we living?  We are living our story(belief) about the moment and situation, which blocks us from seeing the truth, the reality. Naturally, our action (based out of our story) in such case is not going to be appropriate to the situation, as we fail to see things on their merit under the influence of our own distorted perceptions/beliefs/ideas about the situation. Unfortunately we are living like this almost all the time; in our work life, in relationships, in our dealing with ourself. As majority of our actions are faulty, our life becomes a sum total of the mess created from these faulty choices/actions, causing us suffering, sense of loss, guilt, irritation, anger, mental pain and physical diseases too. Further, we also suffer because of the faulty orientations inculcated into us by the social and market forces. Concepts like, ‘life is a war’, ‘more is always better’, ‘you have to compete and beat others to survive’; add a few more convoluted beliefs and inhuman values about meaning and purpose of life, and they’re bound to leave you with a poor sense of self and purpose of life in general. Consequently, we end up chasing the goals that are not ours. Such goals, even if chased successfully (by investing precious energy and time) soon leave us with a feeling of unfulfillment and dissatisfaction.

Friends, when you’re asleep and dreaming, can you see the reality around you? Obviously not. In the same way, when you are ‘Awake’ (and not ‘Aware’), you miss the finer dimensions of the reality (Truth) around you and continue to live in the world of your waking dreams (read conditionings). Consequently, we end up living like the train traveller who prefers to carry his baggage on his head while sitting on the train seat, ignoring the natural option of keeping it on the floor. Most of the stress that we’re causing to ourselves, is coming from our faulty orientations and belief patterns. Which, once detected, will never rule our lives. Unfortunately, we are so much on the run all the time that we seldom get the opportunity to detect these patterns, and keep on living the same life day after day, calling it natural or fate. Like very beautifully remarked by a realized man, ‘Do what you want to do, and you may never do what you can’

Following is my observation about the modes of life we humans are living. It can be broadly classified in 3 categories:


1. Constrictive, 2. Transactional, 3. Expansive


Constrictive: This mode of life is dominated by fear, scarcity mindset, and ego-centric behaviour. On close observation, we will find that fear(often expressed as greed, defensiveness, jealousy) and rigid beliefs dominate the action choices of the individuals living in this mode. They are not only defensive about what they have and appear seemingly protective in their approach, but they can go on to justify their exploitative actions too, if it serves them. A sense of lack rules the lives of these individuals.

Transactional: The people with a transactional mindset are the ones who believe in fair play but deem giving more as some sort of loss. They are, therefore, living more business-like lives even at the places not needed. If they give, they anticipate a return in the same proportion. It’s like buying bread by giving X amount to the baker. Ego-centricity is there but appears of acceptable level in these individuals. Fairness and justice are the hallmarks of the people living in this mode.


People with this orientation are the ones who can be termed ‘Lovers’ in a traditional spiritual sense. They are, for all practical purposes, ‘Givers’. They are the people who are harmonised on a ‘High-Frequency State’ which I prefer to call ‘Love State’. They give not because they’re super rich but because a feeling of fulfilment and superflousness dominates their lives. If they give, they don’t expect anything in return. Whether they get any return or not, doesn’t upset their attitude. You may call them ‘Unconditional Givers’. Ego-centricity, fear or insecurity appears only nominal in these individuals. Love, empathy, and giving, sharing dominates the behaviour of the people living in this mode.

It’s interesting to note that the above three modes of living also correspond to our levels of ‘Consciousness’ (clarity to see the Truth) too. Needless to mention, the ’Lovers’, the Expansive mode ones, are closest to the ‘Truth’, while the Constrictive mode ones are by far the farthest from it. As we transcend our Ego-Centricity (I- consciousness), our life starts improving because of our informed choices and situation-appropriate actions. We will also notice that these action choices not only become more aligned with our core/heart but also more holistic in nature and, therefore, found to be more beneficial not only to us but also to the world at large. Obviously, in the 3rd mode our actions are bound to leave us more satisfied and happy with ourselves, in both the short and long run, causing us to live a more fulfilled and enriched life.